when you move in with someone, whether it be a significant other or your best girlfriend you have a certain picture in your head. the way he will look when he walks through the door every night to come home to you. how great it will be to wake up to him everyday. the way your heart will be content staying in on a saturday night cuddled up on the couch together. then the move actually happens and the fairytale in your head seems to play out differently in real life.
now dont get me wrong, this move is one of the best decisions i have made in my whole life. and i love living with richard. i just didnt know the adjustment period would be so...much. there are so many things that you dont even realize, i thought i would indulge you with a few.
i used to stay at richards house on the weekends, and loved waking up to him every morning. it was extra special weekend treat. so when we moved in i thought that would be one of my favorite parts, and it is. except that we dont really get the opportunity to go to bed together. so i fall asleep on my side, which is awkward. then he comes in later and has to adjust, flopping all over the place trying to fall asleep.
what seems like a mere few hours later my 1st alarm goes off to get up for my morning run/workout. i actually set two 15 minutes apart so that i can hit the snooze button without being rushed. i know it drives richard crazy, but its a pshchy thing.
the thing we finally conquered were the sheets and the fan. growing up i have always slept on flannel, even in the summer, just with less blankets than the winter and a ceiling fan. he always slept on cotton with no top sheet just the comforter and the loudest fan in the world. after weeks of not sleeping well because of him flopping around like a fish when the fan was on and me freezing because there was no top sheet we had to do something. we agreed upon putting a flannel top sheet on the bed and not turning the fan on in the winter. pnce richard got over having the sheet tucked into the bottom of the bed, we have been sleeping great ever since.
the bathroom counter.
for the last few years i have a had bathroom to myself where i could spread out as much as i wanted to, and i did, often. so now going back to sharing has been a bit of adjustment and i know that one of the few things that drives richard over the edge is the way i leave things on the counter. 1st i rarely put the cap on the toothpaste. its my own tube, i never have. havent really seen the point. i know the end gets a little crusty (gross) and sometimes i end up wasting some of the toothpaste. but it never really drives me to put the cap back on. 2nd i leave hair things all over the counter. clips, bobby pins, rubber bands, and bows. now they are not stacked so high you cant see what they are, but usually i am in a hurry and they dont always make it back into the drawer. and 3rd is the fact i leave things on his side of the counter. i am right handed and have the left side of the sink. he is left handed and has the right side of the sink. probably not the best planning, but its the way it happened. i think the fact that i leave things on the counter comes from being in a rush. its never on purpose or to drive him crazy. it just happens. i really am trying to get better about all 3, i know that the toothpaste cap is definitely the biggest.
the dirty dishes.
i am definitely not the cleanest person in the world. i leave things on the floor. my shoes are usually under the table and not in the closet. the mail will sit on the counter for a few days before i throw things away. however i am not so messy that i let mold grow on things or i have 3 inches of dust on everything. one of my biggest pet peeves is leaving dishes in the sink. now if you are cooking and then eat right after, thats ok, leave them in there until you are ready to clean up. leave them in there overnight or to "soak" and i might go crazy. getting up in the morning and seeing his dishes (that dont need to soak by the way) still in the sink the next morning is enough to drive me over the edge. just put them in the freaking dishwasher that is right there ready to be loaded. he always tells me he is too tired and they need to soak overnight. so that is on one side of the sink. the other side has the hand blender that he mixes his shakes with and the shaker bottle. now we dont have a very big sink and i am super clumsy so i always know everything over. then i get super frustrated because there is not enough room in the sink for me to get water and i refuse to put his dishes away. were still working on this one.
when i said i am not the cleanest person, this is never a clearer statement than when it comes to laundry. i leave my clothes on the floor of the bathroom under the towels because thats where they drop when i am ready to take a shower. its definitely not a basket, but out of the way so you can still walk through. now yes, it may take a few days for them to get put into the actual laundry basket less than 15 feet away, but at least you do not have to walk on them. richard, not so much. all of his clothes land in front of the dresser, no matter what. now by the end of the week i can barely open my bottom drawer to get shorts out for my run. yes, i do occasionally contribute to that pile with a piece or 2 of clothing. mostly because i am so frustrated that his clothes are everywhere.
when i actually do laundry (we do ours separate because i have cooties lol) i am soooo not good at putting them away. 1st it takes me forever to complete laundry because i forget it is in there. there are also certain things that dont go in the dryer, such as bras, jeans, and dress pants. these things naturally go over the shower curtain to air dry. i should have added that to richards bathroom pet peeve list. once it is done i fold everything and leave it on the dryer...for days. most of the time for the whole week. i just live off the dryer. now i think this drives richard a little bananas. almost as much as it drives me crazy that he will take out his clean clothes and throw them in a pile on the bed. and then leave them there all day. when i am finally ready for bed, they usually end up in a pile on the floor. and so the cycle begins again. did i mention you must step on all the clothes to get that loud awful fan? were still working on this one too.
im sure as those of you reading this that have been through the adjustment period are dying with laughter. and i know that in a few years we are going to think this is all hilarious, but for now it is what we are working on. we have definitely conquered a few things along the way. for example if i go for an early run i now put my things in the bathroom the night before so he can sleep. he comes to bed with me sometimes and just lays there as i fall asleep so i dont feel so awkward sleeping on the one side. we both check what the other is recording to make sure the person home can watch tv even if you are recording something. he takes things out of the freezer so i have something to eat for dinner without a lot of effort. i put away the dishes when i get home that he turned on before he left for work so neither one of us has to listen to the dishwasher while trying to watch tv. who knew these little things we have learned to do for the other could make such a big difference when you are home without the other person?
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