Saturday, November 20, 2010

the tug of war.

when you are a kid you end up spending a lot of time with your family.  now there is definitely more time than others depending on things like your age, i mean no parent is cool during some of your teenage years.  my family and i have always been very close and do spend a considerable amount of time together.  they are the ones you come home to at night when you live with them.  the ones you have dinner with when you dont go out with your friends.  the ones you spend holidays with reminiscing over your childhood years.  in my case, i probably spent more time with my family over the years combined than anyone else.

once you start dating someone you instantly want to spend as much time with them as possible.  its new and exciting and this person makes you feel as no one has done before.  you are constantly texting and chatting on the phone about your days or the things that make you happy.  with our opposite schedules during the week we wanted to make the most of any time off that richard and i had together during the weekends.  i know that this wasnt always my familys favorite idea, they definitely let me know in subtle ways.  its definitely a balance thing.

the newest level of balance came in on the second weekend that we lived here.  we had made a sort of double date with some very close friends of ours for saturday night.  i had to work that morning, so they were going to come over later that afternoon.  jackass 3d had just come out and richard was dying to see it.  so while he and mike went and saw that lora and i were very excited about seeing a chick flick instead.  they were set to come over around 4pm, catch a matinee movie after seeing our new apartment and grabbing dinner afterward.  we were set with a great plan.  then, as it often seems to, the latest ufc fight put a natural kink in our plans.  i had no desire to go to the fight, and was actually kind of excited to stay in my own apartment while richard went to a friends to watch.  unfortunately, the planning around that took over everything.  now mike and lora were coming over at 2pm, we had to see the movie early or eat early so they could go to the fight and do the other activity later.  i still wasnt sure why they needed to come over so early, the preliminary fights didnt even start until 7pm. 

as if enough finagling wasnt going on, i was supposed to see my parents at least for a little bit that day.  i had left a few things at home and my dad needed his tools back we were still borrowing, so made a plan to meet somewhere to eat/shop and exchange a few things.   well after i found out the fight was taking over it all went to hell in a hand basket.  our friends were coming over earlier, my mom wanted to hang out more, both were pulling on me so much i was starting to cave under pressure.  richard was upset that i had made plans when mike and lora were coming over and i knew it.  my mom was upset because she thought it was too early i should have made more time to hang out with them. 

all of the above issues would have been solved if i didnt have to work that morning.  i could have fit everybody in, and made everyone happy that way.  so after i finished work i raced over to meet mom and dad at starbucks with their somewhat disapproving looks about our short time together.  oh and probably the fact i made them wait a little.  we laughed and joked and had a good time over coffee, dad telling me all about his trip to seattle for my grandmas birthday and then asking lots questions about how it is to live with a boy.  after that i raced home to hang out with richard and our friends for the evening.  i was again met with disapproving looks because i was so much later then i thought i was going to be. 

we had a really good time at the movies and dinner.  the boys had decided earlier in the evening they didnt want to see the fight because of its location.  lora and i got to see a super good chick flick and the guys were relieved they didnt have to see it and got to see jackass.  by the time we rolled around to getting home i was stuffed from the amazing chicken pot pie i had a claim jumper and the frozen yogurt from yogurtland.  i was perfectly happy falling into bed and watching tv for the night, especially in my own apartment, and everyone else looked about as full/tired as i was.  so when richard suggested they go watch the fight anyway since someone had recorded it, i was pretty surprised.  it seemed to me he was still upset about earlier and didnt want to hang out with me anymore.  lora also needed to go, she had a friend that really needed a shoulder to cry on that evening.

as the boys left i was really sad and felt very alone.  i felt like i had let both parties down that day and at the end they were both disappointed with me.  i realized i wasnt very good at this new balancing act yet.  when richard got home that night he told about the people there for fight and the weirdness that had happened.  best of all, he told me how glad he was to have a normal person to come home too.  without even meaning to, he had calmed all my fears from the day. 

since that weekend i have been trying to get better at balancing.  i am definitely not a pro yet by any means.  i am also trying to make sure i am making myself happy.  both parties are extremely important in my life and i want to keep both around for a very long time. 

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...