Friday, November 12, 2010

the meals.

i love food, i really do.  i am not shy in a restaurant, no matter who i am with, and love having a kitchen filled with food.  i also love to cook.  im not very good mind you, but i do love it.  i like being able to prepare things and piece things together to make a meal.  growing up mom did most of the cooking and as i got older i always volunteered but that didnt usually work.  so when i went to college i was excited to do it on my own, until i realized how hard it really was.  i definitely got better while i was there, but not great.  after i moved home with my parents i didnt cook much again, so when i moved out i was really excited to get to explore my skills again.

richard and i are both fairly plain eaters, and we also eat similarish things.  when it comes to sandwiches mine has meat, cheese, and thats it.  no mayo, no mustard, no tomatoes or lettuce.  he is close to the same, except with no cheese.  i am a pretty plain jane eater, but i do think i am starting to expand a little bit.  when he and i first met his dad actually asked me to help him expand his eating choices, my family and friends are still laughing about that conversation.

before moving in together richard would always tell me that he wanted to gain weight, which trying to understand that as a girl is a whole new crazy idea.  we as women are constantly trying to lose weight, tone, stay the same, or have body image issues in general.  it never really occurred to me that men do as well.  body image issues is something i have struggled with my whole life.  i am a curvy girl, i have a big butt, hips, big curly blonde hair, big boobs, and pretty fair skinned.  i love being a curvy girl, sometimes though, those curves got a little too out of control.  i never took it to the extreme of an eating disorder, thank goodness i was surrounded by the right people in my life, but there has not been many times in my life i have felt completely comfortable in my own skin.  right now however, i am beginning to feel the most comfortable i have in a very long time.  this is also, a lot of work.  i am in the process of losing weight on a plan that has been very successful for me in the past few months, post latest half marathon.  clothes are fitting better, i am actually needing to replace some, overall i feel much more confident in myself. plus i am determined to not gain the stereotypical weight you add on when moving in with a significant other, we'll call that love pudge.  so he had decided that he would definitely gain some when we moved in because we would be eating meals together and my meals usually include many different things, especially dessert.

i thought this was going to be great, i would be able to come home and cook for us both, then when richard came home he would have something to eat.  now after the first grocery store adventure, part 1 and 2, i really began to wonder how this was going to work.  the things we were buying were completely different.  no way was i eating vegetables out of a can and he laughed when i carefully picked my fruit.  i started to realize that we eat in the sameish places, but when we eat at home, its very different.  he is a chicken nuggets and mash potatoes eater, while i may have the chicken nuggets but with carrots and strawberries, two things he doesnt even like.  i dont really like to eat after 8pm, and richard isnt even home most evenings until after 11pm.  i would plan what i thought i wanted to eat for dinner in the morning, he doesnt need to decide until he goes to work.  we both spent a lot time trying not to hurt the others feelings about not wanting to eat what they were eating. 

so by the second week, i had given up the thought of eating the same meals.  i know it sounds silly and maybe a tad dramatic, but it saved us both from getting our feelings hurt and really there are so much bigger things to fight about than meals.  it was energy trying to save face and come with a rebuttal that didnt need to be there.  when we are here on weekends together or randomly during the day we are very conscious about making sure we eat meals together.  i may make an extra veggie, he may add another carb, but we are still cooking and eating together.  who knew coordinating meals together would be so difficult.

1 comment:

megankl said...

how accommodating of you two! Much nicer than how I have forced Jake to become semi vegan. He hasn't offered to do the cooking though, so I'll continue to cook a lot of vegetables and just roll my eyes when he talks about missing meat and dairy ;)

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